First of all, I'm so sorry that you've been betrayed in such a destabilizing way. It's one thing to remove one's self from a relationship but it's another thing to offer no insight whatsoever, and the fact that your ex blindsided you like this is very disturbing. This post has prompted me to reflect on how we behave in intimate relationships, as you rightfully pointed out that how we treat our partners is a reflection of how we treat others in isolation when we aren't necessarily held accountable. I'm glad you're still able to recognize that you showed up to the relationship with transparency, which is more than your ex can say. Down the line, he will have to reckon with the way he treated you. You won't be around for that, but at least you're leaving the relationship behind with the knowledge that you always acted in line with your values and showed not only love but basic respect. The utter disregard your ex had for your feelings after 3 years together, tho... I'm so sorry. I know what it's like to want that closure in terms of a better "explanation" coming directly from them that isn't speculation on your end or clichéd input from third parties. I know people will say "actions speak louder than words" and "time heals" but those don't always offer much consolation in the immediate aftermath of such a breakup. That being said, I wish you a speedy recovery from the pain and am glad to read that you already acknowledge it's out of your hands (and that some anxiety has been replaced by a sense of liberation). Thank you for all your book recommendations for us throughout the years and may you continue to find solace in literature (and West End Girl).
You are soososososososos incredible Marcus 💖✨🌹💕❤️ thank you for sharing your heart and your words. As you know I just adore receiving your magic every time I go on IG. Of course you share your work with lots of play and whimsy, but I have to say I really love witnessing this other expression of you. Not that it was never there, but this shows how textured and rich you are as a human being. And how much this journey is already inspiring you to step even MORE into your power. You’re so wonderful and I just adore being connected to you. Here for you if you ever need a lil tarot card pull and will continue supporting you💖💕🔮💅🏽📚
Anger is totally valid, especially in ocassions like this.
Reading this makes me remember the day I talked to my ex friend/boyfriend and how I asked me if he miss me after all the time we didn’t talk and he avoid the question until I confronted him, what hurts the most about this experiences is that we expected the least for the people that we care, the people that we consider our confidants, the one we loved most.
I remember wishing him the best after him admitting he had a new girlfriend and me telling him that we wouldn’t talk anymore and then feeling my heart breaking in million pieces, “did my words were even sincere?” I hope one day they could.
Before this experience I never expected the love turned to hate phrase so true and even thinking all this it still amazes me how this relationship that I thought was so healthy and sweet turned out, but the best we can do for now is to keep living and perhaps one day we can look back without hatred consuming us
Thank you again for your words Marcus, reading this makes me feel less alone ❤️
I tend to assume everyone is doing their best. Sadly, some people’s best is still objectively terrible for me, and that’s where boundaries come in.
It’s okay to say no. It’s okay not to accept behaviour that made you feel small. And it’s okay to keep the good memories, even if the breakup was awful and you later realise he was basically a walking case study in boundary erosion. Consider it unpaid training for spotting this nonsense faster next time.
Anger is not the villain here - it’s actually quite informative. And it doesn’t erase what came before. Two things can coexist: you had real, lovely moments, and the person ultimately sucked, or wildly misrepresented themselves.
Silver lining though: your tolerance for bullshit has now been permanently lowered. Your intuition has been upgraded. And the next time someone tries this, you’ll spot it so fast you’ll barely have time to romanticise it.
First of all, I'm so sorry that you've been betrayed in such a destabilizing way. It's one thing to remove one's self from a relationship but it's another thing to offer no insight whatsoever, and the fact that your ex blindsided you like this is very disturbing. This post has prompted me to reflect on how we behave in intimate relationships, as you rightfully pointed out that how we treat our partners is a reflection of how we treat others in isolation when we aren't necessarily held accountable. I'm glad you're still able to recognize that you showed up to the relationship with transparency, which is more than your ex can say. Down the line, he will have to reckon with the way he treated you. You won't be around for that, but at least you're leaving the relationship behind with the knowledge that you always acted in line with your values and showed not only love but basic respect. The utter disregard your ex had for your feelings after 3 years together, tho... I'm so sorry. I know what it's like to want that closure in terms of a better "explanation" coming directly from them that isn't speculation on your end or clichéd input from third parties. I know people will say "actions speak louder than words" and "time heals" but those don't always offer much consolation in the immediate aftermath of such a breakup. That being said, I wish you a speedy recovery from the pain and am glad to read that you already acknowledge it's out of your hands (and that some anxiety has been replaced by a sense of liberation). Thank you for all your book recommendations for us throughout the years and may you continue to find solace in literature (and West End Girl).
Thank you so much for this beautiful comment Rachel. Your words mean a lot ❤️
this is rlly good thx for writing it
ahh thank you - small world, I love your writing 😅❤️
You are soososososososos incredible Marcus 💖✨🌹💕❤️ thank you for sharing your heart and your words. As you know I just adore receiving your magic every time I go on IG. Of course you share your work with lots of play and whimsy, but I have to say I really love witnessing this other expression of you. Not that it was never there, but this shows how textured and rich you are as a human being. And how much this journey is already inspiring you to step even MORE into your power. You’re so wonderful and I just adore being connected to you. Here for you if you ever need a lil tarot card pull and will continue supporting you💖💕🔮💅🏽📚
You are the sweetest human 😭❤️
🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹
Anger is totally valid, especially in ocassions like this.
Reading this makes me remember the day I talked to my ex friend/boyfriend and how I asked me if he miss me after all the time we didn’t talk and he avoid the question until I confronted him, what hurts the most about this experiences is that we expected the least for the people that we care, the people that we consider our confidants, the one we loved most.
I remember wishing him the best after him admitting he had a new girlfriend and me telling him that we wouldn’t talk anymore and then feeling my heart breaking in million pieces, “did my words were even sincere?” I hope one day they could.
Before this experience I never expected the love turned to hate phrase so true and even thinking all this it still amazes me how this relationship that I thought was so healthy and sweet turned out, but the best we can do for now is to keep living and perhaps one day we can look back without hatred consuming us
Thank you again for your words Marcus, reading this makes me feel less alone ❤️
thank you for sharing ♥️
I tend to assume everyone is doing their best. Sadly, some people’s best is still objectively terrible for me, and that’s where boundaries come in.
It’s okay to say no. It’s okay not to accept behaviour that made you feel small. And it’s okay to keep the good memories, even if the breakup was awful and you later realise he was basically a walking case study in boundary erosion. Consider it unpaid training for spotting this nonsense faster next time.
Anger is not the villain here - it’s actually quite informative. And it doesn’t erase what came before. Two things can coexist: you had real, lovely moments, and the person ultimately sucked, or wildly misrepresented themselves.
Silver lining though: your tolerance for bullshit has now been permanently lowered. Your intuition has been upgraded. And the next time someone tries this, you’ll spot it so fast you’ll barely have time to romanticise it.
This is so insightful - thank you so much ❤️